Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he puts the penis in happiness.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
