Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
