She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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