Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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