all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
