gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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