she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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