glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
