apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
