wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
