We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
