I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's never too late to be topless.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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