all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
