Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
