When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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