I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
