you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
