mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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