Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
