What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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