he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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