took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
