You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
