So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize