We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
