I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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