So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
