I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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