As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Boobs speak an international language.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
NoShamevember. You game?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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