I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
