He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
