Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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