If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize