Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
