Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
