Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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