I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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