Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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