omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize