It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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