Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
