just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
