listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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