I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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