I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
