we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
