Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
