he puts the penis in happiness.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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