I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to stick my p in your. b.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
