I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
