You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
