yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this hospital has no fireball
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
