is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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