So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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