I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
