After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
